April awaits…

Reflecting on the past month feels like peeling back layers of emotions and confronting the raw truth of my experiences. It’s been a tough journey, one marked by waves of anxiety and stress that have threatened to engulf me. Navigating through life during this time has felt like walking through a dense fog, where every step forward is uncertain and laden with doubt.

The weight of adult responsibilities has settled heavily on my shoulders, casting shadows of fear and apprehension. It’s a daunting realization to come face to face with the fact that I am now considered an adult, expected to juggle myriad responsibilities while grappling with my own insecurities and uncertainties.

In the midst of this darkness, however, I’ve clung fiercely to the things in my life that offer even the slightest glimmer of light. Whether it’s the laughter of loved ones, the comforting embrace of a friend, or the simple joys found in hobbies and passions, these moments have served as beacons of hope in an otherwise tumultuous sea.

Yet, amidst the chaos, there’s a profound sense of growth and self-discovery taking root within me. I’m learning to lean into the discomfort, to embrace the messy intricacies of life, and to find strength in vulnerability. It’s a journey of resilience, of learning to navigate the complexities of adulthood while staying true to myself and my values.

As I look back on the challenges of the past month, I’m reminded that it’s okay to not have all the answers, to stumble and falter along the way. What’s important is the willingness to keep moving forward, to seek solace in moments of darkness, and to find beauty in the midst of chaos.

So, as I continue to navigate through life’s uncertainties, I do so with a renewed sense of hope and determination. I may still be learning to grapple with adulthood and its myriad complexities, but with each passing day, I grow stronger, more resilient, and more capable of facing whatever challenges lie ahead.

Xoxo Samya Simone

Finding my North Star

All throughout my childhood and early adulthood, I have grappled with the profound sense of not being enough for those around me. Longing for that deeper level of connection and community and always falling short. Feeling as if no matter how much I give, my love will never be reciprocated. Eager to feel seen, and understood, I molded myself to fit perceived expectations, sacrificing my authenticity for approval.

Being present but never really feeling present.

I entered a chapter in my life where I became envious of people who were naturally gifted at making friends and being conversationalists. I just couldn’t compare, I was the quiet, shy, and awkward girl. And I felt like that’s all I could ever be. The friends I did have were great for the moment, but my soul was longing for deeper connection. Connection that scratched more than the surface level of talking about work or high school drama. I wanted to know their dreams, fears, values, and worldview. I wanted friends who WANTED to know ME.

My friendships seemed fleeting, like grains of sand slipping behind the lingering trace of unexpressed solitude. Despite my efforts, friends departed, leaving me with a hollow echo of my attempts to be everything to everyone. I was giving so much of myself just to still feel empty inside. I realized that I needed to have expectations for my friendships just like I do for relationships. But also understanding I can’t be everything to everyone and they can’t be everything to me.

I learned to not place my importance or happiness on other people. It has to come from within.

That moment of raw vulnerability forced me to commit to my own- self discovery and self acceptance. It sparked a commitment to unveil my genuine self hidden beneath layers of pretense. Today, this chapter remains etched in the lines of my identity, a reminder that true connections flourish only when rooted in the soil of authenticity.

~

Xoxo SS

Footsteps of forever

I’ll walk with you
through the depths of your mind
picking through each piece of information
no matter how small or unimportant
you may think it is

I wanna know what makes you, YOU
so let me walk with you
take me to the places light has yet to touch
allow me to explore you
so I can understand you

Understand why it’s so hard for you to let people in
but if that’s too much to ask
at least let me walk with you
so I can stay a little longer

~
xo SS